Relationships are falling apart due to the cost of living crisis

The rising cost of living is a major factor in the decline of sexual activity.

Prices at grocery stores are going up; energy costs are out of control; and rents are going up. The cost of living crisis is making the future feel uncertain, and it's not just hurting young people's bank accounts. It's also ruining their sexual lives. Romantic wine and dinner cost money, and since 93 percent of UK adults say their living costs will go up between August and September 2022, both singles and couples are finding it hard to keep their passion alive.

The Student Beans Cost of Living Report, which came out in October 2022, found that 24 percent of British students said the crisis hurts their dating life, and 10 percent said it hurts their sex life in particular. It's also changing how we set financial limits. According to the dating app Bumble, 28% of people are now putting tighter cost limits on their dating lives. A study done by Stowe Family Law shows that the cost of living crisis is causing problems for 55% of UK couples, and 70% of those people worry that their relationship won't last.

This is the sad truth for Lucy, who just broke up with her boyfriend and is 23 years old and from Warwickshire, England. As money became a worry, their sexual life started to get worse. "Dates weren't as important as they used to be, which was always like foreplay for me." Near the end, we mostly just stayed at home, didn't get dressed up, and didn't make much of an effort because it seemed pointless. "I felt much less attractive," she says. "It turned into a routine, and we still had sex, but it wasn't as exciting or different." Our sexual life was getting worse, and that really hurt my sense of self.

The cost of living crisis brought up problems that Lucy and her ex-partner already had. Lucy's name has been changed to protect her privacy. He moved from Leicester to Warwickshire to be closer to her. At first, they were in a long-distance relationship. Many of his friends still lived back home, and when he went to see them, he was more and more willing to spend his money on drugs and alcohol.

"Going to see them was his top priority, which was fine, but there were no date nights or quality time, even in the house," Lucy says. Even though her partner made about £10,000 more per year than she did, she kept putting in the same amount of emotional and financial effort even as their relationship started to go downhill. He spent his time and money elsewhere with his friends, so she had to pay the electric bill and plan the weekly grocery shopping. He didn't seem to appreciate her hard work.

"I saved and saved for his birthday," she says. "I don't have much money, but I chose to give up a few things so that we could have a great time together." For her birthday, he didn't do anything for her. In the end, money problems and different priorities killed the passion.

For people like Lucy, the emotional effects of the crisis make it hard for their sexual lives to grow. "When times are hard, we have to be very honest with our partners about money, which makes many people feel awkward." It can also bring out differences in spending and budgeting habits, which can make things difficult, says Isabelle Uren, a sex expert at Bedbible. "Physical, mental, and social factors all affect how much someone wants to be sexual." Stress makes us less sexually interested, and money problems often make us feel ashamed and afraid about the future. This is a perfect storm of libido-killing factors. It's not a big surprise that couples are having sexual problems or, as in Lucy's case, just giving up on each other.

Money problems don't just make relationships less fun; they also change how we look for new partners and have casual sex. Dinner and drinks are becoming less and less affordable ways to get ready for sex. Bumble found that 32% of people are less impressed by over-the-top, lavish dates, and 57% are more interested in casual dates. This means that many people are skipping the romantic act and instead dropping their locations for sneaky links.

Due to the uncertain state of the economy and society, many people are rethinking what they want in a partner.

Young people usually rent with roommates because they can't buy a home. SpareRoom says that in the last ten years, the number of people living in shared houses has grown by 400%. Shelter, an organisation that helps people find homes, found that almost 2.5 million renters are either behind on their rent or always have trouble paying it. This is a 45 percent increase since April 2022. Because of this, it's even harder to get casual hookups or potential dates back into shared spaces.

So what should we do now? The future of sex might not look good, but if there's one good thing to take away from this, it's that talking about money is becoming more common. Sarah Tilley, a clinical therapist and sex and relationship expert, says that the question "What does my future look like?" is causing a crisis among young people. In some ways, this is bringing people from lower-income communities together. "Talking about saving money is becoming less of a taboo; it's now something we all do."

Even though these important conversations about money can be hard, they can help us find and build meaningful relationships and strengthen the ones we already have. Having an open mind might not save you a few eye-watering pounds at the pub before you hook up, but it can help you find the sneaky links that are worth swiping right for.